life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
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