4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
is your mom at the bar?
I am in shape. i keep telling you that.
Round is not "in shape," it's "a shape."
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
.... I'm on a random couch somewhere in Newark wrapped in a Lightning McQueen blanket
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
there is puke in my bra ... again
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