I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
Freedom, beauty, truth, and love to all. I also probably have syphilis
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
i stole nothing, broke nothing, and stabbed nothing. aren't you proud of me?
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
Randomize
