hotel room ftw
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
And this is the part where I need you not to judge me. Remember that I have never seen a penis do that and that I have a weird sexual curiosity
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
Randomize
