today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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