you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
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