my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
We woke up today with 24 donuts, a tie, two jugs of vodka that we traded an extra sandwich for, and a british boy
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
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