I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
It's official drugs can't kill me
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I just can't promise there won't be a reason to hit you in the face with a dildo again in the future.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
