Duck Duck Cougar?
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
I woke up to 76 pages of e's, r's, d's, and f's from when I fell asleep for 3 hours on my laptop keyboard trying to write that paper.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
