Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
No dude, you can't hot box a bus shelter.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
He just got home drunk. He ate 5 snack cakes, said Little Debbie's his bitch, went upstairs and fell asleep.
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
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