i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
This is the worst date ever. Pls kill me. No, wait, scratch that, stick to the original plan of killing Paris Hilton, I'll live though this
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So, this year for my birthday, want to get rip-roaring schmammered and watch my episode of my super sweet 16? We can do lines off my tiara.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
Randomize
