can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
And then my night got REAL pukey
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Randomize
