Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I've slept with so many tools that you'd think my pussy was Home Depot.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
she fascinated with the iron the back of the toilet seat. she made me sit in the bathroom with her for a solid 10 minutes while she just stared and laughed at it
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
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