Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
You screamed 'no, YOU put some pants on' at a cop. I pretended not to know you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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