sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
How do i tell my boyfriend " I'm taking the two weeks im in Europe to fuck my way across 9 countries" in a way where we will still be together?
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I just puked in a chili’s bathroom... happy birthday to me
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