My key broke off while I was turning the key. I can't pull the broken key out. Not only am i locked outside, so is the rest of the building.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
