Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I'm on the struggle bus
just ordered a number 1 at a fast food restaurant that doesn't have numbers
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He found a way to charmingly ask me for a threesome and when I said no he made it sound like he was even happier. He's a fucking wizard
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize