He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
lets have sex before this no shave november shit gets outta hand.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
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