And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
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