remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I will be sticking my dick in something this weekend. You can either be that something or not. Your decision.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
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