Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
According to the transitive property, he has now had dick in his mouth.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
Randomize
