Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Ok fine. Wild. Free. Like a stallion set free in a beautiful meadow filled with flowers and sexy lady horses
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
