you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
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