So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
I don't care. I'll be that guy that eats cake in a car. Alone. With the doors locked.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
Omg my orgasm just made the fucking sun come out. Clearly my libido controls the weather now.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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