Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
dude you made out with his girlfriend and stole his credit card to buy more drinks
well when you put it that way, I sound like a terrible person
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
I wear drunk well.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
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