He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Randomize