My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize
