do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
