So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
