i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
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