if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
you can't get genital warts from dogs can you?
For real. Like, if I ever had to choose a last meal, I would just choose to get high and eat whatever was around.
You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Just climbed to the top of a frozen waterfall! Do you want to do drugs tm night? The two are unrelated.
Just turned down sex because it's a holy day of obligation, my mom would be proud.
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
He grabbed at it like it was a stress ball or something. It's a boob, not a grapefruit. The fuck.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
