Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Funniest shit happened at the grocery store. This kid kept asking his mom for candy over and over and she told him 'daddy said no' and he screamed 'he isn't my dad' so loud everyone in the store was silent it was awesome.
Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
i stalked him back to the creation of his facebook in november 2008. that bad.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
Randomize
