i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
You tried to tell her that the salad was an afrodisiac then proceeded to stroke yourself with the feather duster
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
I am just going to stick my boobs out and hope for the best
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
idk i just feel really unsatisfied. like something's missing from my life... maybe it's chicken nuggets...
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
