i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Randomize
