some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Oh god. Charles just fell off the bar. Didn't spill his drink. He's come so far..
Then you guys just all showered together...?
Randomize
