Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize