i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
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