He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
Randomize
