i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
birthday sex, birthday sex, birthday sex
I'm on my period, period, period
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
You wouldn't know anything about the tooth on ice in my freezer would you?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
We were talking when all of a sudden she reach and started squeezing my dick and goes "nice." and then just kept the conversation going like nothing happened.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
