We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
this whole "benign brain tumor" is truly a blessing in disguise. I almost want to start bringing MRIs to the bar because sympathy pussy is flowing like the nile
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
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