Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
Have you finally orgasmed yet?
He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
Would it be inappropriate to meet you at the airport after your family vacation so I can tell you all about the amazing sex I have been having?
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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