Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
He made me leave when I challenged "all you bitches" to a game of strip taboo.
It's official, the cities waste management does not recycle porn.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
