okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Randomize
