she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
can we get together and have a vodka water gun fight? i need to get som intense excersise/alcohol
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
Made out with a mannequin all morning in cpr training, so im ready to party
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
Randomize
