puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
I came so hard my entire leg seized. Her blowjob gave me a Charlie horse.
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
