Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
WHEN THE FUCK DID MCDONALD'S DECIDE TO QUIT SERVING BURGERS AT 1:00AM?
I would peed on everything
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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