As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Randomize