The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
My pussy is not your playground.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
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