He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
YOLO is a great motto until you end up with Chlamydia
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
