So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Randomize
