and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
Randomize
