The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
Randomize
