I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
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