we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
Her best friend sent her a random hate text and the song they played at her father's funeral came on the radio. I just got cock blocked by the universe
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
