i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
I can hear the condescending tone from the atm when it asks if $3 is all I would like to deposit
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I sleep texted my mom and asked her for a condom last night
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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