There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
We used to bone, but now she's my life coach.
My dog just ran downstairs with my vibrator in her mouth... during my dad's birthday dinner.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Sitting in a waiting room with 15 children has me contemplating if I ever want to have sex again...
Randomize
