I'm drive I can fine osifer
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
But I always wanted my obit to read "Died violently in casino orgy," not "Never woke up from rectal surgery."
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Throwing up in his bed is not a step up in your relationship
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
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