I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
I always knew ther was a reason why we're best friends
Obvs our love of drugs
I like to think of it more as our love of curiosity
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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