that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I DO NOT KNOW WHO SHE IS, WE HAVE NO MORE FRUIT, SHE CAN'T STAY HERE.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
That would be an interesting position... Not entirely certain how that'd work!
Gravity is no match for my libido
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
Randomize
