There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
Just gave a blow job while wearing a shirt that says 'world's coolest mom' idk how my conscience feels...
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Competitive oral. I'm always telling girls they are only the fourth, maybe third, best blowjob I've had. They go back down with something to prove.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
I am the Angelina Jolie to his Billy Bob Thorton. We just don't work.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Randomize
