I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Chapter 6 - how to lose your underwear in chicago
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
