I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
thanks for at least making it out of the pool before you threw up
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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