I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
no. you can't hotbox the world.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
we're making bets on your personal life
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
She texted her brother about how much she loved his hot tub. He responded three days later that he wasn't aware he owned a hot tub.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
