This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
I have a new reason to go to work: I can tell which 3 of my coworkers are sisters just by looking at their butts.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Randomize
