I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
