I'm surprised I didn't puke tonight
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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