I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
so like
i may have gotten a little bit of blood in the charging port of my phone
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
Randomize
