The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
The homeless guy out front said it's his birthday and he asked us to join him for happy hour after work. He's buying a fifth of gin to celebrate.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I mean we don't talk anymore but I still see him around wearing that sweater he stole from me after we had sex
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize
