the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I'm laying in your front yard are you home
he started yelling "this is my pussy" mid thrust
so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Just watched a guy open his car door, puke, close it, and resume driving. Happy Monday.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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