went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i wish there was a photo editing effect that fully opened my drunk eyes
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
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