This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
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