I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I gave his daughter swim lessons and in exchange he sold me an ounce. I feel so accomplished.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I woke up this morning to my panties draped around the neck of an empty bottle of bulleit. That is the perfect visual metaphor for my life at this juncture.
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