i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Law school is ruining my masturbation schedule.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
