Upon hearing of his newfound access to every orifice... even ones he just made up... the Grinch's penis grew three sizes that day.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
so, in conclusion, I think his gf found out about the booty pics
Randomize
