you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
If you are in NYC and not seeing anyone, you should come fucke me now because:1 i am not in love with you anymore, 2 i am drunk enough where i won't feel the n eed to kisx you awardly to avoid your beard, 3we have unfinished business that i wpn't get -assed unyil orgass have been had, 4 i really really want to
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
