No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
She paid me 300 bucks to spank her and call her Baby Jane. Then we drank half a bottle of sippin whiskey. I'd call it a twelve out of ten.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
