apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
NEVERCLEAR, NEVER AGAIN.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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