office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
The best thing about my promotion is that I now have an office with a door. I can take my naps in peace instead of leaning my head against the stall in the bathroom.
I can't believe they pay you six figures. I hate you.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
He did a backflip because drugs
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
Randomize
