I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
And then you asked me why my legs were so thick and started measuring them with a ruler
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
